My December
by Shadow of the Day
Summary: This is a oneshot songfic My December Linkin Park mainly just about Harry's feelings after the Final Battle not HBP or DH compatible


Hey people this is my 2ed fan fic it would make me real happy if u would read it its called Enemy it should be in my profile. Please review and tell me if this should be a one shot!

Disclaimer: yes I am the wonderful J.K.Rowling and I own Harry Potter! (Note sarcasm) And I don't own My December by Linkin Park either unfortunately.

It was winter.

It was cold.

Harry hugged his knees tightly and continued gazing out of the window into the falling snow beyond. It was early in the morning and the common room lay deserted in the dark gloom that lingered until the sun finally rose. But outside, he could clearly see white flecks of snow swiveling silently towards the distant, icy ground. They looked like sparks of pure light sprinkled onto the school grounds that unfolded in front of him. The castle itself was sleeping in. He could only hear the gentle sounds of the wind breathing against his window and the odd shouts and noises made by those already awake.

It was great to be back at Hogwarts, even if it was only for a little while. Until he fully recovered from the wounds he had received during the war. McGonagall had been very kind to let his stay here. He just wished, he didn't have the entire common room to himself. He wished Ron and Hermione were here with him.

They hadn't been so lucky.

They were currently lying in a ward in St. Mungo's. They were badly injured and confined to the ward by the healers. He could imagine the entire Weasley family crowding around Ron and Hermione's bed. He could imagine a brightly decorated room. He could imagine that the air smelled like Molly's cooking. He could imagine the warm talking and laughing. He could imagine Ron reaching out and taking Hermione's hand...

And here he was, all alone in the dark common room. All the students of Hogwarts had gone home for the holiday. There wasn't a soul in sight.

**This is my December****  
****This is my time of the year**

He was all alone. Locked away in the cold castle. Watching the grey mass of cloud above his head falling in front of him. He was remembering so many things from so many Christmases spent sitting in the same common room, looking out over the same scene.

However that was ages ago. Before the war. When he could still imagine being happy at this time of the year. Before he understood that he would never really be able to appreciate it.

Christmas was a time for family. Something Harry never had. He guessed the war finally made him see it all for what it was. It had always been a time of longing for him, though his heart had never understood it when he was younger.

He remembered seeing the Dursley's interact during December holiday's. He remembered how he always seemed to be cut out of the family's activities; always pushed away, back into his small cupboard.

Harry had always been alone in December…

**This is my December****  
****This is all so clear**

He remembered long ago that Dumbledore once told him how strange he was. He remembered that they spoke about the uncommon love he had living inside of him. The ability to love everyone and thing, simply because they are…the ability to love even the most hated of his enemies.

He couldn't help wondering if Dumbledore and he were really that different in the end. They both did love the people around them too much. They both were indeed very unusual.

And in the end they both were alone.

He wondered if Dumbledore also sometimes sat looking out over Hogwarts during December, letting his brilliant mind wonder down the cold deserted corridors. Like Harry had been doing for the past week.

**This is my December****  
****This is my snow-covered home**

This was the only real home Harry had ever known. Hogwarts covered in snow looked like a picture out of a fairy tale book. This was the place he had spent the best years of his life. His happiest memories were made here.

The lake was frozen over, not unlike his bleeding heart.

The hallways were empty and dark, just like his thoughts had been of late.

The walls were covered with frost, just like all his happy memories were tainted by the recent scenes of battles and death.

Here the surroundings mirrored his mood exactly.

Dumbledore…

**This is my December****  
****This is me alone**

He was all alone sitting by himself with nobody but memory and hope of his friends; the only thing that fate hadn't taken away from Harry these past few years. The only thing he really had left. He missed them terribly, and wished that he could join them.

Though Harry didn't really feel like it at the moment. He didn't want to see Ron and Hermione giving each other fuzzy looks, nor did he want to hear everyone congratulating and praising him for the victory. He didn't want to be reminded of the war at all.

He wanted the clock to turn back three years when he was still going to school here. When things were still so simple and fun. Long before he became aware of the emptiness inside of him.

Ginny…

**And I****  
****Just wish that I didn't feel****  
****Like there was something I missed**

Harry wished that the feeling of emptiness would be filled. Be filled with the parents he never had, the godfather he never got to know and the childhood that life stole from him.

Sirius…

He wished Sirius…

**And I****  
****Take back all the things I said****  
****To make you feel like that**

He wished he could take it all back. He wished he could fix it all. He wished he could see it all through. He wished he could take back everything he didn't say to Sirius. He wished he could take back all the things he did say to his friends.

He had been a terrible person these past two years. He wished he could take back all the things he had put Ron and Hermione through.

He wished…

Hermione…

**And I****  
****Just wish that I didn't feel****  
****Like there was something I missed**

He had spent most of the week wondering through the castle. Reliving all those glazed over memories of his years going to school year. All the lame jokes and silly grudges. All the adventured the three of them had had. All of it lay buried here.

**And I****  
****Take back all the things I said to you**

**And I'd give it all away****  
****Just to have somewhere to go to**

He wished…

He wished he had had a real home to go to during winter break; one that was something like the Borrow, but belonging to him. Someplace were his own mother would fuss over him like Mrs Weasley used to do with Ron.

He wished he was someone else. Someone who wasn't the famed boy-who-lived. He wouldn't give a seconds thought to changing places with someone else.

He wouldn't have to be alone then…

**Give it all away****  
****To have someone to come home to**

He wished he had that special person that he could spend his life with.

Hermione…

He wished he was needed by someone, now after he had completed his destiny. He wished he had a purpose. He wished someone would love him now that he had outlived his use.

Ginny was gone…she left him all alone.

**This is my December****  
****These are my snow-covered trees**

The distant forest stood sadly beneath the falling snow. Each watching him silently. The lonely mountains rose up from the dark horizon, ominous and judgmental. Each sneering at him with no sympathy.

They all knew what he was feeling.

Loneliness.

They knew that emotion very well.

Though they didn't seem to care.

**This is me pretending****  
****This is all I need**

was she just a replacement?

He had always loved her.

He had always cared for her.

But was she just a replacement now that Ginny was…

**And I****  
****Just wish that I didn't feel****  
****Like there was something I missed**

**And I****  
****Take back all the things I said****  
****To make you feel like that**

**And I****  
****Just wish that I didn't feel****  
****Like there was something I missed**

**And I****  
****Take back all the things that I said to you**

**And I'd give it all away****  
****Just to have somewhere to go to****  
****Give it all away****  
****To have someone to come home to**

**This is my December****  
****This is my time of the year****  
****This is my December****  
****This is all so clear**

**Give it all away****  
****Just to have somewhere to go to****  
****Give it all away****  
****To have someone to come home to**

**Give it all away****  
****Just to have somewhere to go to****  
****Give it all away****  
****To have someone to come home to**

What would the future hold for him?

Would he always be alone in December.

Would he always be alone as he had been all his life?

Even if his greatest strength was his ability to love, Harry knew he couldn't go on with it all much longer unless someone was there to love him back.

A.N-Please rieview to the story and I hope you all liked it I really would like to thank Rosie for being my beta this story wouldn't be what it is without you I miss you

Xoxox

Liezl


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